The best way to get a girl strong is to feed her bacon in between sets
So my parents just found out about my fourteen year old brother smoking weed because they found this on his window ledge. So in the middle of a huge lecture my dad decides to open the Baggie and smell it to see how strong it is. He immediately starts crying with laughter. THIS NIGGA HAS BEEN BUYING AND SMOKING FUCKING OREGANO. FUCKIN ITALIAN HERBS. SON. I CAN’T. I CANNOT. I CAN’T DO THIS.
This isn’t funny. That’s the gateway drug to a full blown marinara addiction. It’s good this was caught before this kid started hanging out at Olive Garden and sucking on every breadstick he can find to score another hit.
IT GOT BETTER.
If you don’t like musicals, you should remember that Cosette, Miranda Priestley, James Bond, Leonard’s mom, Dr. Erik Selvig, Howard Stark, Molly Weasley and Mr. Darcy sing Abba songs in Greece.
What the actual fuck
These people exist.
What the fuck
Is this a hoax?
Petition to rename it Herstory month
My dad just came into my room and shouted at me in Klingon.
Am I more embarrassed that he did that or that I know he said I was a disappointment to the empire?
You should be most embarrassed that you’re a disappointment to the empire.
Peeta making Katniss smile
My best friend (who works at State Farm) just called me, so excited, saying she met a cute boy at work, whose name is Jake. She likes Jake from State Farm.She sounds hideous.
Well she’s a guy so
If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them
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